Alternate Thursday’s have become a bit of a special day, in my mind at least. It’s the day I get to see people. By accident of course (lockdown ‘n' all). By now most of you are aware that on alternate Fridays I have my chemo so the day before is a special day because I feel the best since my previous chemo zapping. That why I walk on the alternate Thursdays.
This coming Thursday the 26th is different. It’s the last opportunity to walk during LD2 but this is also the day that I meet with my consultant to discuss yesterday's scan and ongoing cancer treatment.
Now, in my head, there seems to be a cancer continuum here. One end of the continuum = bad, the other end = less bad. It’s a cancer continuum; there isn't any good.
The bad end, to me, means 3 months of crappy chemo and it’s had little or no impact. That would be the worst news. The Grim Reaper is far too close. Or, on the other hand, the crappy chemo is actually having an impact. The development of my cancer has slowed or maybe receded a little. (It's not going away). The Grim Reaper is still close but not that close.
Rest assured my cancer will get worse and, barring an unforeseen event like an accident, will see me off. The best I can hope for is that I don’t get squashed by a bus and my treatment is effective.
My consultation is with Dr Caroline Parnell, at the Sunrise Centre RCH Treliske. I expect there’s lots of moments when she sees people crumble in front of her. I don't envy her. I have heard the centre described, irreverently, as the Sunset Centre. Many a true word spoken in jest. My appointment is at 10:40. Bang in the middle of our walk. I’ve been cogitating the issue; to walk or not to walk, that is the question. The thing is, when I find out my situation, nothing really changes. What I’ll need to do is find a way of dealing with the knowledge. Then, and you would expect no less, I’ll use the knowledge to inform another blog update so, dear readers, you’ll all know pretty quickly. Sometimes I can’t help feeling I’m in a bit of a hopeless situation. It’s a scary old time.
So Shakespeare provides the question, with a bit of adjustment.
“To walk or not to walk, that is the question”.
And Obama provides the answer.
“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
The first post LD2 5 mile walk has been planned for the 10th of December at Dunmere. Hopefully, if Boris says “yes”, the Borough Arms hostelry may be able to serve some after walk sustenance. The walk details are here http://iwkc.co.uk/w/102
But I’m thinking, a 1pm walk, on the 26th of this month, just a couple of miles. Already the weather forecast is looking good. This could be different. A walk around Baal Pit and up to the stone circle above Carn Grey. It’s not a documented walk just a detour off the clay trails. You can’t download a set of directions I just like the walk. I’ll start at these coordinates 50.3569274, -4.7731985. X marks the spot to park.
I'm not inviting anyone I'm just sayin'