Rock Maze
  • Neil

Hard Decision. Mains Tremblantes

It’s Easter Sunday. A glorious morning although I’m starting this note in bed, and why not? We’re even having breakfast in bed. The Sundays before chemo are generally my best day. It’s the days I can best judge my general wellness. (Actually my chemo day is usually my best day but that doesn’t last long). This morning, I’m not unwell, but I’m aware that I’m beginning to experience significant side effects all the time. I started with about a week’s respite now my side effects are continuous. Still I reckon I’m operating at about 5:2 - good days to bad days - but gradually, little by little, I feel my general wellness is slipping away.

My consultant and her team are now dropping in the notion of treatment breaks. For some inexplicable reason I’ve been resistant to the idea. They clearly know something I haven’t completely grasped yet. Treatment breaks are probably a good idea, it’s just I have to get my mind around the idea. It’s a Hard Decision.

Anyway, enough of that. I have a new, exciting project in mind. From concept to reality it’ll take the help of a few key people. I’ve started the negotiations with one key player, who recognises time is of the essence, with a very successful outcome. Today it’s conversation with the second key player. I’m hoping for another successful result.

Normally, while conversations and negotiations are in their infancy it’s not a topic for general discussion. Not quite a secret but I’m not ready to divulge any detail quite yet. So why say anything? Well it may turn out to be a significant factor in my hard decision to take treatment breaks.

I also like a project I can slowly reveal.

In the last few days I’ve become my own worst enemy. Without a doubt I’ve been burning my increasingly feeble candle both ends. I've ignored my own tenet of do a little rest a lot. I recognise when I’ve overcooked it when my hands tremble. I like the term “Mains Tremblantes” it’s not a real term for trembling hands its just a bit of French but I should definitely take note. If I experience Mains Tremblantes then I know I’ll suffer later. My saviour is Mr Blue Sky. My enemy is My Blue Sky. I feel a song coming on..... https://youtube/aQUlA8Hcv4s

“So what’s the recipe today Jim?" Nothing much, rest, talk to my second protagonist maybe, vacuum the sand out of the Fiat, rest, vacuum the Citroen, rest, generally potter about and rest.

No Hard Decisions.

That'll do nicely.

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