House of Cards meets Ladies Rugby

I might just have a go at building a house of cards. You know the sort of thing, layers upon layers of playing cards teetering on layers of playing cards. Notoriously unstable and too easy to knock over with the slightest interference. “Oh no!” I hear you cry. “not another bleddy metaphor”. Well, it might be.

If I liken myself to a house of cards I have to ask myself; am I notoriously unstable? No, surely not, not Neil. Well I might be. Try asking; am I easy to knock over with the slightest interference? Can’t still be talking about Neil. Well.........

Go gentle ‘cause my new chemo’s bleddy tough and it’s gonna get a whole lot tougher. My house of cards is going to get a whole lot more unstable and when it falls it completely falls.

But not today

Yesterday was a good day. Be under no illusions this chemo is still giving me hell and my trip to the Headland Unit was 8 days ago and I’m still feeling totally terrible. But today I’m planning. I’m planning some mince pie-esque creations with sweet apple chutney. (They’ll be fine). I’m planning to show off my Christmas cake at Coffee Club. I’m pretending to plan Christmas lunch, no chance really. But there’s other planning going on. The ladies in my life, Tricia, Lauren and Abbi, are planning.

I had company yesterday. Emma spent the day with me while planning went on around us. Emma and I went off to get lunch, planning continued, we sat in the house in the afternoon while the planning moved to Mevagissey. I had my haircut, the planning went on.

I’ve been excluded from this planning. I like planning, I’m pretty good at it I think, but I’ve been treated as a persona non grata! Why? What are they planning?

Well I’ve worked it out from their careless clues. I’ve been eavesdropping, watching carefully in a clandestine way.

They’re planning a ladies rugby team. I found it hard to believe at first but the clues are evident. They’ve been off trying on rugby kit I reckon. That’s why I was excluded. They’ve been ringing around looking for a place to bring the team together. Oddly though not St Austell Rugby Club, the obvious venue. They’ve spoken to some kind of registration service, probably the RFU (Rugby Football Union). They’ve even agreed that Abbi should be team captain (she seems the main decision maker) But the biggest clue, they really dropped a clanger letting this one out, excluding the officials (referee obviously) only 15 people are allowed, the size of a rugby team.

They must think I’m stupid.

I really don’t understand why I’ve been asked to do some kind of inaugural speech in the afternoon on Saturday the 6th of February, I’m completely flummoxed but I’ll play along. I must ask Cal, Abbi's fiancé, he might know what’s going on. It all seems a bit secretive, I know I’ve told you but don’t tell anyone else. Shhhhhh!

Anyway they can’t catch me out that easily. They think I know absolutely nothing about rugby, that's true, so I’d better start my research and planning my speech. A speech all about rugby. They'll be really surprised.

If you read this before 10am and join the 10 am Tuesday Coffee Club, I’ll be able to enlighten you further. I’ll see what I can find out. See you later maybe. Bring some cake. Mum’s the word!

Join Zoom Tuesday Coffee Club.

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