I haven't really cooked since lockdown, probably way before. I'm in the privileged position that I happen to be married to someone who really enjoys cooking. Since giving up meat we have explored, more than ever, with flavours. In our old kitchen our spice cupboard was just the best cupboard door to open. The smell was intoxicating. Building a new kitchen has given me the opportunity to build a spice cupboard to end all spice cupboards.
I’m really knackered at the moment. Worse than I expected during the second week of my chemo cycle. This is a really depressing development. I rely on the knowledge that I get a significant number of days that I feel good. By my reckoning I'm due to continue with my fortnightly chemo sessions until mid-February. If I continue to experience what is probably cumulative toxicity it's definitely nothing to look forward to. I'm the first to say “you can't be cheerful all the time” and it’s true but today it seems even harder than usual.
I'm fidgeting, feeling all wrong, probably should go to bed but I sleep badly enough as it is and if I give in at 8pm I'll never sleep.
Earlier today I walked past this new spice cupboard. It didn't take any special skills. It's just a shallow cupboard, only 3 inches deep. According to Helen who cut my hair today 3 inches is all you need! On the subject of Helen. After about 20 years she has finally put her prices up. Good for her. Two of us had our hair cut. We duly paid. Then she gave me the money back and asked us to add it to the charity pot. Thank you very much indeed. Anyway, as I was saying I walked past this cupboard and in passing said " I'll never tire of feeling good about this cupboard". Then one of those moments swept over me. I felt broken.
A combination of lack of sleep, feeling crappy, finding it hard to find a cheerful twist has rendered the day a bit of a miserable write off. Better luck tomorrow.
The spice cupboard is still a beauty.
Oh, before I forget.
10am Lerryn Carpark on Thursday. I’m bound to be cheerful again by then.
Stick this in your sat nav PL22 0PT
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