Impostorism? I Wish.

Interestingly enough we don’t live in Truro. I’m beginning to think it would have been a good idea although I prefer to live exactly where I do. I’m sitting outside the Portman Smile Clinic. Tricia has an orthodontist appointment. Perhaps today she’ll hear when her braces finally come off. It’s been over two years. It’s Wednesday evening, tomorrow I’m due in Truro again at RCH Treliske to see my consultant. On Friday, unless there’s a major change, I’m back in Truro again for my chemo. Then if I can’t get a community nurse to disconnect my pump on Sunday I will be back again. Soon the car will be able to drive itself.

In 1988 I began a job in Truro working for the then Cornwall County Council in an office in Lemon Street. The job was impossible. 3 officers including me, 1 manager and two administrators. Within a few months there was 1 principal manager, 2 area managers, 10 officers and 4 administrators. I, of course, applied for an area manager role but unbeknownst to my colleagues I also applied for the top job. The interviews for the management jobs took place over 2 days. The first my colleagues knew I had applied for the principal manager’s role was when they met me on the panel for their interviews.

From that time onwards I stayed in management roles. Much of the time I experienced a form of impostorism. That all seems a lifetime ago.

It’s now early Thursday morning. And I’m going back to Truro yet again.

I can liken today to a Strictly Dance Off. I can imagine Tess Daly telling me “This is it!”.

I fully expect to hear from Dr Parnell that all is good. Everything is going well. And I’m to continue with my planned treatment. But there’s also a chance that the news will be bad but I’ve experienced bad news before. I think I’m ready. I have to know what’s happening with my cancer to enable me to plan my future, however long. But I wish I was experiencing impostorism now.

How many times in our lives are we really aware that we’ve arrived at a fork in the road? Today is a fork in my road.

Let’s see where it takes me.

I’ll let you know later.