top of page
Rock Maze
  • Writer's pictureNeil

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

Let’s all go round to Neil and Tricia’s on Saturday night. They’re having a party. It’s gonna be wild. All a bit Ian Dury and they never run out of drink.

Woah!! Hold on to your horses a minute. It’s not going to be like that this time. Unfortunately those mildly debauched evenings are consigned to the past (and boy, have we got some stories). But not this Saturday, not this week. This time it’s going to be mild, yes I’m afraid I’ll reiterate that in capital letters. THIS TIME IT’S GOING TO BE MILD.

As for Sex & Drugs & Rock and Roll well, with regard to Drugs, I have a plentiful supply of medication which, I for one, will be popping through the day/s. Rock & Roll will probably be provided by a Makita Site radio and Google. As for Sex? ......... well that’s entirely up to you!

This week my medication is easing a bit. Last time, reducing my medication had a short term detrimental effect. So this week, I’m afraid, we’re not going to go all Prince and “Party like it’s 1999".

So whatever happens it’s going to be the resurrection of the Mild Bunch!

We have a few beers, copious coffee, probably some odd half bottles of spirits you can help dispose of. We can do tea bags, milk and sugar. We have containers to drink from, items to stir with and a dishwasher to wash dishes.

As not many of you are going to be here for the long haul, food is not on the menu. And of course Sajid Javid may yet have something to say!

So this is the deal, it’s the same deal.

Tomorrow morning it’s my regular zoom Coffee Club. On Wednesday (my birthday) my brother and sister-in-law are here in the morning with Archie their terrier (I think its a terrier). Our grandchildren and their minders are tearing around the place in the evening. Thursday, off to meet for the roving coffee gang at 10am. I’m still thinking Bate’s Hotel, 25 Polmarth Close. We have the coffee pot and other DIY refreshments. Then on Friday, early evening, until say 7pm we intend to have a MILD open garden/house and the ceremonial tapping of the beer, Sluice Juice, for those of you that can’t make Saturday.

Saturday’s the all day job. From 10am the coffee pot will be hot and the beer will be flowing throughout the day. Be mindful however I won't be flowing throughout the day. As far as guests are concerned all are welcome but we’re hoping for a “Slow Flow” until final carriages at 11pm. Still not managed to get here? Try Sunday morning, 10am to Noon. I’ll even make some fresh coffee.

Salient things to note. I'm sometimes still in bed at 10am although mornings are my best time. I need to eat regularly which is largely determined by my medication. I have lunch at Noon and dinner at 6pm.

If I don’t sleep in the afternoon I’ll not make the evening so you’ll have to talk amongst yourselves from about 1pm till 4pm. Tricia, my nurse and minder, knows better than me when I need to call it quits. I ignore her at my peril! I might be in bed by 8pm, but occasionally (and it is only occasionally) it has been known for me to pour myself a drop of the hard stuff at 10pm, it’s pretty infrequent but after all it is my birthday.

Please leave your quiches and cakes at home. Save your salads and charcuterie for another day. Just bring yourselves. Oh and suitable fluid refreshments and snacks as appropriate.

Oh and as for the Beatles song “When I’m 64" it’s almost 45 years old. I think things have progressed a bit!

All Together now

When I get older losing my hair Many years from now Will you still be sending me a Valentine Birthday greetings bottle of wine

If I'd been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four

You'll be older too And if you say the word I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse When your lights have gone You can knit a sweater by the fireside Sunday mornings go for a ride

Doing the garden, digging the weeds Who could ask for more

Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four

Every summer we can rent a cottage In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear We shall scrimp and save Grandchildren on your knee Vera, Chuck and Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line Stating point of view Indicate precisely what you mean to say Yours sincerely, wasting away

Give me your answer, fill in a form Mine for evermore Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four

161 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Another weekend of lockdown 4/4/20

Good morning Facebook chums Another weekend of lockdown Something I've noticed, we've suddenly arrived at the second weekend of lockdown. I'm not quite sure how that happened so fast. It might be a co

And so it continues 3/4/20

Good morning Facebook chums And so it continues So, did you clap again last night? We did but we also stopped and listened. Wow! We could hear it for miles. Almost an emotional experience. Instead of

No title 2/4/20

Good morning Facebook chums You know some mornings you wake up with ideas in your head and you think " let's get up and get going". Or in my case let's find something that I might write about. Some mo


bottom of page