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Rock Maze
  • Writer's pictureNeil

The Milking Stool and my Jug of Joy

It’s time to update my blog. Not nececelery because I’ve got something to say but to reassure you that I’m still in the land of the living. I need to thank you all for reading and taking heed of my last update. You stayed away from what was and still is a pretty poorly person.

I’m not as bad as I was and I definitely feel on the mend. But for the last week (coincidentally my birthday week) I’ve slept in excess of 11 hours every night and been pretty dozy for the rest of the time. It’s fascinating how quickly your body shuts down. No TV, no reading, few visitors, hardly any conversation. All I wanted to do was lie down. It was the only time I didn’t feel nauseous. Imagine feeling sea sick as soon as you wake up.

My sickness was caused by toxins in my body due to an interesting bout of prolonged constipation which is beginning to be resolved. But because I was also constantly tired I was constantly yawning. Weirdly every time I yawned I also felt sick. That’s to do with our vagus nerve, so I now have medication for that as well. It all sounds a bit grim but I no longer feel sick and my general demeanour has improved no end. At this rate I’ll be having coffee somewhere on Thursday!

It’s not all good news, my feet and hands still hurt. I fear that’s something I’ll simply have to endure. But, like anything, there’s often a workaround. To write this I’m using a dabber which I’m holding like a child holds a pen. It’s working for me and saves my fingertips. I’ve returned to using plastic handled cutlery, and my Blue badge for the car no longer feels like fraud.

My next target is to return to a relatively normal metabolism. So to that end (ha ha) I’m taking one last high impact laxative mixture today (8 sachets in a litre of water, my “Jug of Joy”) then reducing those to 2 sachets 1 in the morning and 1 in the evening rather than 8 in one go. Then hopefully I won’t need my anti-sickness medication.

All I need is a well formed, stable, stool. Thankfully I have one in the shape of a handmade teak milking stool. Not exactly what I had in mind but the sentiment was there.

Now, how many uses can I find for a milking stool?

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