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We survived the night

Well. I'm currently surrounded by sleeping lions. Like father, like daughter in the room with me (Abbi couldn't sleep well last night) and Mum catching up on some z's downstairs on the sofa. I guess I must be running on adrenalin trying to keep up with work on very little sleep last night.

At 8pm yesterday I gave an update on the number of medical staff who visited Neil throughout the day. I'm pretty sure a combination of seeing all 3 of his girls in one day and the significant increase in doctors, nurses and carers made him realise it was almost his time.


The final count in 24 hours was 6 carers, 7 nurses and 2 doctors since we needed to call for a doctor late in the evening and a nurse in the early hours. The reason for calling was that Neil was really restless during the night. He kept trying to show off his attitude off the side of the bed and whining quite loudly often.


Mum and I took it in shifts throughout the night with me sitting with him until around 3am when I felt he was calmer and Mum taking the morning shift so that I could get some sleep. It's quite clear that nothing has changed with Mum and I. Mum is still the heaviest sleeper I've ever met and I'm still the lightest. Any small flinch or whine from Neil and I was there like a shot to move his attitude back into first position (more ballet terms for you) and then to scare Mum as she stirred on my return journey back to bed. A couple of moments that made us both laugh this morning was upon one return she did stir to hearing Neil's distress but when I was stood in the doorway on my return, she thought it was Neil, in her sleepy state, somehow awake and out of bed appearing in front of her. As most of you know, Mum's eye sight is not the best, especially in the dark and especially without her glasses so I can honestly say I've never seen someone so wide eyed in panic outside of the movie screens. The next was when I called out to Neil to let him know I was on my way and she awoke to this in another panic. I wish I could do the following scenes justice in my written word but watching her bounce from pillar to post (or wardrobe to doorway) in her bid to move as fast as she could to help with Neil still sends me in utter giggles.


I know I sound like the worst daughter ever laughing at my poor mother in her time of need but I honestly think the way we have all laughed during the awful situations we have found ourselves in, in the past few years is how we've got through. The first doctor yesterday said to Mum and I 'well at least you've still got your sense of humour'. And while Neil gave us only a few words yesterday, each were absolute gems that had us in fits of giggles but of course with tears streaming down our faces too.


Yesterday, we were going to fit Neil with a driver and then the decision was reversed. Today, the driver has been implemented and since then I can safely say that he is much calmer, which fills us all with peace. We mustn't dwell, but I do think we would have had much more sleep through the night if this was implemented yesterday. Mostly because we would have been less worried about Neil's safety and pain management. The out of hours calls we had to make were both to help manage his pain and agitation so the steady supply of medication to mitigate this is a welcome relief.


Let's hope there's no need for any out of hours calls tonight and a peaceful night for all of us. Most of all, Neil.

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