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Rock Maze
  • Writer's pictureNeil

Remove all Doubt

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

It’s Monday, chemo day, it’s a day out! I’m now starting on my new course, same as the old course. Another 3 months of chemotherapy and all that it entails. Another 3 months of arresting the development of my cancer. Hopefully another 3+ months of avoiding the Grim Reaper. The theory is during my course of chemo I have a few, maybe quite a few, quality days. It’s interesting how adaptable we can be. Three months ago every chemo day was a bad day, sometimes a horrible day. Bad days are now my new normal and they’re not that bad anymore. I’ve adapted. For the next 48 hours I have my portable pump plugged directly into my chest. That means for the next 2 nights I have to sleep with my new friend. 5 months ago it was a nuisance now I barely notice. 5 months ago I was determined to take the minimum amount of pills, now I max out on my meds. One thing I’m unable to adapt to is the cold. Cold and chemo poor bedfellows make. I never leave home without gloves and a scarf, I’ve learnt to wrap up warm. Anyway the weather’s warming up. My treatment doesn’t remove any doubt about my ultimate outcome but it hopefully will give me a bit more time.

For 5 months I’ve found drinking alcohol to be challenging. I originally adapted to that by simply not drinking any. Now I’m taking tentative steps back to the bottle. My weaning on seems to be working. I’m climbing back on the wagon. I’ve had a beer, a G&T, a vodka and coke and some whisky and ice. I did the research, a good value and positively reviewed whisky is Tomalin, single malt, sherry cask edition. At £45 quid it’s a bit more than I'd normally spend but I’m not exactly guzzling it. I’ve wanted to remove all doubt that if I want to I can have a drink.

If I’m spending money I like to do the research. The motorhome took 2 years to find, our little red sports car took a couple of months, even a cake recipe can take a little while. Clearly I need to do the work to remove all doubt. Now I’m looking for a van. I have a fairly specific shopping list. Why? Because Lauren has decided to bring her Australian picnic business to Cornwall for which she needs a van. / . I have been given a fairly specific shopping list.

It needs to be a Citroen Berlingo, Peugeot Partner or something similar. Her colour preference is silver, black or white, probably in that order. It needs to cost less than £5,000. There are loads available but unfortunately they’re often quite a distance away and I'm not a reliable traveller, so we’re a bit limited to how far we can travel. I’ll do the research to remove all doubt. We'll find something I’m sure.

Over the years I’ve owned quite a few vans. 2 Citroen Ami 8 vans, a Vauxhall HA van, a VW T2 van, a Ford Escort van, a Ford Transit van, a VW LT van and a Renault Trafic van. We can remove all doubt that the Vauxhall was the most crappy. So crappy that there’s only 6 left on the road, there are no Citroen Ami 8 vans.

If my prognosis was different I think I’d get another van but it’s not to be. We've still got the motorhome (is that a van?) so things aren't all bad. Incidentally I’m booking our first nights away for the wedding of our eldest daughter Vicki. So we’re planning a trip to the Yeovil area on the 30th April and the 1st May and to remove all doubt, we're proper excited.

Two of our daughters having two lockdown weddings in less than 3 month. What a privilege.

And to further remove all doubt here’s tomorrow’s Coffee Club details.

Topic: Coffee Club 9th March

Time: Mar 9, 2021 10:00 AM Universal Time UTC

Join Zoom Meeting

Meeting ID: 760 9988 4451

Passcode: RcL5mP

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