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Dear Diary.
Keeping a diary is something I may have done for a moment during my angst-filled teen times but I’m not a diary keeper. Tricia uses an old style paper diary which she keeps and constantly refers back to. I’m not that bothered about remembering specific dates or events. Facebook does a certain amount of memory jogging, that's enough for me. But reminiscing, that's a different kettle of fish. Why? Because that's generally accomplished by conversation and I like a good yap.
Miserably, my yapping seems to revolve around my health, or lack thereof.
But sometimes, at quiet times, I think of random things. Take Captain Sir Tom Moore. Apart from raising a whole load of money he had an unlikely hit with Michael Ball singing the song “You’ll Never Walk Alone". A rendition of the song that's not, for a change, associated with football.
Stick with me.....
In the late 60s, when I was about 10, my two older brothers and I were dragooned into taking part in the St Austell Amateur Operatic Society’s rendition of the Rogers and Hammerstein classic musical Carousel. It was there I met my future grammar school classmate who much later I would marry. I don’t know if our parents knew each other BC (before Carousel) but did from then on. Carousel is one of the bits of glue that holds Tricia and I together.
In 2006, when Tricia and I got married we walked into the registry office with the Carousel waltz playing. We waited a full minute before we walked in. https://youtu.be/Bnpta0ALwEU If you listen you’ll realise why.
Since we’ve been together we’ve walked a bit. During lockdown we, like lots of people, walked lots. As we all know I’ve been walking during my treatment. This Saturday while I’m in a small gap before I start a new, last chance course of chemotherapy, we're walking again at Dunmere http://iwkc.co.uk/w/102 you may want to come along. Anyway ”You'll Never Walk Alone “ from Carousel is very fitting for these occasions. Ever since we had the idea of walking during my treatment we have never walked alone. We have had people from all over join us. Each time I’m touched simply by them joining us. It obviously has a yet more powerful message. One I’m just not looking too closely at. https://youtu.be/BLZtT1ogViA
Going off on a tangent let me tell you about dreams. Boy am I having some weird dreams. Last night I was with a group of people in some kind of refuge hiding from zombies, you know the ones, shuffling, dressed in rags, rotting flesh, in a video with Michael Jackson. Well, I find myself separated and attacked by a zombie. In my sleep I scream out in absolute terror. Tricia manages to calm me down. Pretty unpleasant for both of us.
Focussing on the less bizarre. I now have everything to finish the kitchen. All I need to do is fit 2 more shelves, 1 orange blind and seal the joints where the worktop and splash backs join. Doesn’t sound much but it’s probably 2 days work for me. Although as Lord Byron told us “Self praise is no praise at all" I think it’s looking bleddy good. A definite achievement.
So today I speak to my consultant. I’m still expecting my schedule for my chemo. Instead I spoke to the Headland Unit some days ago who confirmed I was expected on this coming Monday. I assume I need a blood test before my chemo appointment but without confirmation I’ve booked one anyway. The district nurse team may need to flush out my port. Without confirmation of my chemo they may need to do that tomorrow. They will contact me to confirm what’s happening. So far I’m not really sure.
With a limited life span and being a planner I like to know what’s happening. Today or tomorrow someone from the Headland Unit will contact me to confirm my attendance (apparently some people fail to attend). If I hadn’t taken responsibility I wouldn’t have a clue what’s going on. The only thing I have in writing is telling me to expect a phone call from my consultant this morning at about 10:20.
So by lunchtime I should be in the know, let’s hope so!